Review: CB Hustlers/Cheerleader Beach Party

 

 

   The first look here at product from “East West Entertainment LLC”; a Hollywood-based budget line Company (http://www.eastwestdvd.com – however at the time of this writing the site was “Under Construction” which is usually the sign of death for these companies. The good thing is it’ll take years before the supply line will dry up so for awhile this and their other titles should be readily available- check your Swap Meets and crappy Dollar stores). One of my favorite genres from the 70’s drive-in era are the Cheerleader/Nurse/WIP (Women in Prison)/Chicks-on-the-Run flicks. These are probably the most formulaic of all genre movies except for “Stalk and Slash” movies but are a Hell of a lot more fun. The formula is pretty simple- a group of gals have some sort of minor issue that takes all of the girls banding together (and in various parts of undress) to resolve at the end. Even the cheapest of these usually have at least ONE interesting or attractive actress, and for some of the studios that made multiple ones (Roger Corman’s New World Pictures; Crown International) they managed to give their movies a professional, glossy sheen. The two that I’m about to talk about, however, are FAR on the other end of the spectrum…

 

   CB Hustlers (‘1978’) is about just that- ‘Truck Stop Annies’ (hookers hitting up truckers) from their rolling van whorehouse and the law and local newspaper trying to root them out. That’s pretty much it. Except for the occasional topless sheet-rolling there is not all that much to recommend; the humor is incredibly feeble and the country music soundtrack is especially lame. The “CB” angle is shoe-horned in to capitalize on the then-current craze; the topless women are a craze that’s ALWAYS current and the gals are attractive enough but not to sustain the relatively short running time. The most notable actors in the cast are the, uh, GIANT-chested Uschi Digard, who was STILL making soft and hardcore porn up until a few years ago (and since she was born in 1948, I think I may have to consciously avoid some of her newer work as I would have to think that nature would have taken its course by now and I don’t really need to see THAT); John Goff (a B-actor who’s been in such drive-in schlock as Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS; Gas Pump Girls and Alligator– he also has small parts in higher-profile fare like The Buddy Holly Story and TV’s L.A. Law.) The Director (Stu Segall) previously helmed the notorious (in name-only; the title is catchy as Hell) Drive-In Massacre and went on to producing the TV shows Hunter; Silk Stalkings and Fashion House. This one is pretty bad (correctly Rated “R” for nudity and language)…

 

   From bad to oh-so worse: Cheerleader Beach Party (aka California Cheerleaders on some drive-in double bills) (also 1978). It starts with some dubbed-over small-college football footage and then follows the cheerleading squad (all FOUR of them- some squad!) of the Rambling U. Rams. The theme song “Stand up and Cheer” (“Stand up and cheer- we’re Number One, lalalala) will get in your head and stay there for the first ½ of the movie and will be that much more distracting when you’re trying to concentrate on the complicated plot. Just kidding- the girls take on the mission of getting new players to play for their small college. With tons of shots of people going through doors, vans driving, and some of the dumbest dialog put on film (“Oh, DOUBLE RATS!”). Compare this to the first one and EVERYTHING is worse; bad acting by an unattractive cast (who break out in song at a beach party- “House of the Rising Sun” has never sounded worse); even lamer humor than the co-feature, and filmed on stock that looks to be WWII surplus and you have, quite possibly, the worst Cheerleader movie ever made. H.O.T.S. and The Pom-Pom Girls this AIN’T. No one really went on to much of anything; the Director (and some of the cast) had made Cherry Hill High the year before, which is slightly better (but not much); Beach Party effectively killed their careers (Rated ‘R’ for mild nudity- would probably be PG-13 now)Holl

 

 

   The DVD is a one-sider (Screen-printed full color art) packed in a slim hard-side case. Both sides have a reproduction of each movies’ poster art. The only so-called “Extras” are under the “Bonus Material” section of the main screen and it consists of a list of some of the titles East West produces only- no trailers. The running times listed for both are 85 minutes which is (surprise) incorrect; CB is 75 minutes and Cheerleader is 84; both are full-screen and look to be 16mm dubs. You can purchase for $1- purchased at inner-city Dollar store in Atlanta…

 

   CB Hustlers: 1-1/2 * of 5

   Cheerleader Beach Party: 1* of 5

 

 

 

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Review: CB Hustlers/Cheerleader Beach Party”

  1. Alex Says:

    Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

  2. Erik Says:

    Very good review indeed!
    A review of some Cherry Hill High would be nice too :)

  3. Erik Says:

    review of some of the VIDEO RELEASES of Cherry Hill High, I meant!

    Nice blog.
    :)

  4. nightowl Says:

    I bought a version with the evel knievel movie, cb hustlers is terrible on every level. The chick scenes are very thin, production and acting are awful.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: